With humble apologies and due deference to John Cleese.
Petition to revoke the independence of the United States of America
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories…except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Gordon Brown MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.
The House of Representatives and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
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I was off my seat as Torres lifted his shot over Jens Lehmann to slot home against Germany in the final of Euro 2008.
Anyone who reads regularly would have seen that I predicted Spain winning the tournament back at the beginning.
I was worried when my semi finalist predictions were 50% wrong!
Thankfully, Torres & Fabregas lived up to my expectations – and I managed win one at the bookmakers as well:
Meet my son Manu – funny, intelligent, playful, bonkers, bossy – I think he has it about right!
The BBC have installed a webcam over Glastonbury – thought I would check in, what a surprise – it’s raining!
I hope Jay-Z bought his Louis Vuitton wellies.
Quite simply – I want one (or both) or these. Classic Lacoste design. From the marvellous Colette.fr (warning too mush flash on that site!).
You’ve gotta love this – I purchased some blades for my razor today, and they came bundled with some shaving gel – and there I was, just about to cook up a storm and I caught sight of the warning!
Wait for it! Wait for it! It’s not what you first think it will be…
The 2008 – 2009 Premier league fixtures are out…and would you believe it, this is how we finish up the season:
Man U and Chelsea in the last three games – if it’s close, then that’ll be truly squeaky bum time!
Euro 2008 kicks off tomorrow in Austria & Switzerland, there is no England this time, so we won;t have to go through the endless obsessing about whether Lampard and Gerrard can play in the same midfield, or sit through the inevitable disappointment of us getting knocked out by penalties just before the end of the tournament.
However, it does promise to be an entertaining fewweeks, with some great sides in the competition and many of the Premierships top stars (present and future) on display.
I’ve been thinking about who I’d like to support to win the event, and then who I *really* think will win. So here are my predictions:
Semi Finalists – Germany, Croatia, Spain and Italy
Winners – Spain
I really think that Spain have flattered to deceive over recent tournaments, but this team – with the irresistible combination of Fabregas & Torres, plus David Villa and Xavi. If Luis Arragones can get them all together, and the sun shines…then its theirs for the taking.
Of course – come 29th of June – I could be proved very wrong.
(written on May 28th – whilst watching England vs USA)
I saw this ad on the left of my Facebook screen today – could well be the most unattractive offer ever!
I realise people might need a small loan to tide them over – but 1355% interest!
Just working that out, if I borrowed a £100 to make it to next payday for me, I’d end up paying back £200 by the end of the month… niiice.
So – I think, no matter how hard it gets, I’ll give payday loans a miss!
With humble apologies and due deference to John Cleese.
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